March 2010
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #17 -...
I watched the original Baby Geniuses last year, so at least I know what I’m getting myself in to. (That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.)
Synopsis from Netflix: Have you cracked the “baby talk” code yet? Well, here’s another chance! In this sequel to Baby Geniuses, the adventure continues with a new generation of talking toddlers. This time, the baby geniuses...
1 tag
I hate hockey sometimes
Right now I feel eerily similar to how I felt after Game 7 of last year’s Stanley Cup Finals: drunk in a Red Wings jersey, pissed off, and wishing Sidney Crosby had never been born.
February 2010
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #16:...
Some of these movies I don’t feel like I need to explain why they’re in the self-torture experiment…
Synopsis from Netflix: Awakening after 20 years in a coma that resulted from a break-dancing accident, Justin Schumacher (Jamie Kennedy) discovers that his parents have enormous medical bills — and he tries to save the day by entering himself and his friends in a dance...
3 tags
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #15: Boat...
I’ve decided that I don’t care about the bronze medal hockey game, so I’m gonna get drunk and watch my third movie of the day.
Synopsis from Netflix: Their love lives in shambles, two pals head for some R&R on the high seas. Jerry (Cuba Gooding Jr.) is nursing a broken heart after being dumped by his girlfriend shortly after he botches his proposal, while his friend Nick...
wordishness asked: Who would win in a fistfight: Jimmy Stewart, or Cary Grant?
faneffingtastic asked: I think you're pretty fucking fantastic too, handsome.
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #14 - Air...
I feel kinda bad that the last movie I watched was somewhat good, so I’m doing my best to make sure this one is truly awful. Having not seen the original Air Bud, I hope I don’t miss out on any subtle references to the first film.
Synopsis from Netflix: Picking up where the original Air Bud left off, Josh Framm (Kevin Zegers) has become the lawful owner of golden retriever Buddy, who...
dadaoist asked: Who the hell are you? And why are you so awesome?
FUCK. Envy isn't pretty, is it?
FUCK. Envy isn't pretty, is it?
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #13:...
This was a suggestion from @bsheepies/milkglassmao.
Synopsis from Netflix: When gallant English knight Tristan (James Franco) wins the love of beautiful Isolde (Sophia Myles) — the daughter of the Irish king — soon after the fall of the Roman Empire, their liaison threatens to destroy the uneasy truce between their respective nations. Rufus Sewell co-stars as the English warlord Lord...
1 tag
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #12: Race...
If this movie is anywhere near as crappy as The Game Plan, then it belongs in my list.
Synopsis from Netflix: Two extraordinarily gifted siblings (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig) find themselves on the run from a dark organization seeking to exploit their paranormal abilities in this remake of the beloved Disney classic Escape to Witch Mountain. Meanwhile, a helpful cab driver (Dwayne...
1 tag
Okay, Canada...
The ball’s in your court now. Or the puck is in your rink I guess.
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #11: Year...
I feel like I’m taking a bit of a gamble on this movie. Although I like both Jack Black and Michael Cera, the commercials for it looked really stupid.
Synopsis from Netflix: Banished from their primitive village after the tribe elders deem them too lazy, Zed (Jack Black) and Oh (Michael Cera) leave everything they’ve ever known behind and embark upon an adventure-filled journey...
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #10: The...
I chose this movie because it has Rob Schneider in it. That’s pretty much the only reason.
Synopsis from Netflix: Cheerleader Jessica Spencer (Rachel McAdams) is as shallow and spiteful as she is pretty and popular. Her cruel nature gets her in trouble when she shoplifts a cursed pair of earrings and winds up trapped in the body of a 30-year-old male loser (Rob Schneider). Humbled, confused...
3 tags
3 tags
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #9: Monkey...
I chose this movie for the self-torture experiment because it involves monkeys. And there’s trouble with the monkeys. Monkey trouble!
Synopsis from Netflix: When Eva (Thora Birch) secretly adopts a mischievous capuchin monkey, her life turns upside down in this slapstick family comedy. Eva’s mother (Mimi Rogers) and allergic stepfather (Christopher McDonald) raise objections,...
1 tag
My hand-picked Googlism favorites
kevin is the metal power man kevin is insane bastard kevin is just fantastic kevin is a frequent guest on television and radio shows including oprah winfrey kevin is recognized as one of the great kachina doll carvers of his time kevin is the official town crier to barnoldswick kevin is the new handmade irish bear on the block kevin is quite a catch
Googlism home
3 tags
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #8: Corky...
I shouldn’t have to explain why I chose this movie for the self-torture experiment…just look at the fucking boxshot.
Synopsis from Netflix: Veterinarian’s assistant Corky (Chris Kattan) is plucked from his seemingly normal life when his dysfunctional mob family convinces him to go undercover as an FBI agent to destroy evidence against his dad, Francis Romano (Peter Falk),...
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #7: Tyler...
I’ve poked fun at Tyler Perry on a few occasions, but I have to admit I’ve never actually watched any of his movies or TV shows. This is a perfect opportunity for me to see if they’re as bad as I assume they are.
Synopsis from Netflix: When a routine speeding incident turns into a full-blown highway “situation,” Madea (Tyler Perry) mouths off to a cop and lands...
2 tags
2 tags
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #6 -...
This was a suggestion from red-kryptonight. I really don’t know what to expect from it, but movies based on video games don’t have a good track record in the previous self-torture experiments (see: Alone In The Dark and Max Payne).
Synopsis from Netflix: Undercover agent Chun Li (Kristin Kreuk) seeks justice and peace in this action-packed adaptation of the megahit video game...
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #5: Freddy...
I got two days off from the self-torture experiment because of the big Twitter party, but now it’s time to get back on track. I actually had to triple-check the recaps of the two previous experiments to make sure I hadn’t already watched this movie because it seems like it should have been in there somewhere. Alas, it wasn’t, so here we are…
Synopsis from Netflix: After...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
John Legend to commemorate sit-in with Richmond... →
Son of a bitch! One of my man-crushes is in my city TONIGHT but I can’t go because I just heard about it now.
Gosh, nothing fun ever happens to me. Except for last Thursday. And last Friday. Oh, Saturday was a lot of fun. Yesterday wasn’t too shabby, either. Come to think of it, I’ve had way too much fun lately. Maybe it’s better that I can’t go after all.
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #4: Dead...
I’ve got time to squeeze another movie in before I head to @vmarinelli and @ThunderDolt’s house to kick off the tweeting-up. This was a suggestion from my friend Kate.
Synopsis from Netflix: When a disease transforms most earthlings into flesh-scarfing zombies, it’s all news to Jim (Jason Crowe) and his colleagues at Cheapskate Car Rental, who don’t realize the threat...
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #3:...
I took the day off of work to clean up my apartment a little bit before the big tweetup this weekend, but I’ve now grown tired of cleaning so I figured I’d watch a bad movie. This is another personal choice, based on the commercials I saw for it which made me want to slam my head against something hard.
Synopsis from Netflix: Newly engaged Ben Murphy (John Krasinski) and Sadie Jones...
2 tags
3 tags
2 tags
APNewsBreak: Top UN climate official resigning →
OMG you guys, this proves that global warming doesn’t exist! Fuck you, Al Gore!
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #2 - Paul...
This wasn’t a suggestion from anyone; I just knew from the moment I saw the commercials that it was going to end up in the self-torture experiment.
Synopsis from Netflix: Funnyman Kevin James (“King of Queens”) stars as Paul Blart, an overzealous security guard who finds himself in way over his head when he attempts to thwart a criminal mastermind’s (Keir O’Donnell)...
4 tags
Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #1 - Speed...
So, it begins again… I’m starting the third self-torture experiment with this movie because it was the only double suggestion, coming from both brilliantorange and milkglassmao/@bsheepies.
Synopsis from Netflix: Sandra Bullock, reprising the role that launched her into Hollywood’s upper echelon, sails into trouble aboard the Seaborn Legend in this high-octane sequel. Elated when...