April 2010
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #62: The...
The cover of this movie made me think of The Adventures of Pluto Nash, and that can never be a good thing.
Synopsis from Netflix: While being chased by neighborhood thugs, weak-kneed high school teacher Jefferson Reed (Robert Townsend) is struck by a meteor and suddenly develops superhuman strength and abilities: He can fly, talk to dogs and absorb knowledge from any book in 30 seconds! his...
March 2010
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #61 -...
Having surpassed my 60 movie goal, I hope this one is really bad to commemorate the achievement.
Synopsis from Netflix: To grant an old woman’s dying wish, Zach (Kristopher Turner) agrees to look for her granddaughter, Heather, who lives deep in the woods. Zach’s buddy Ben (Oliver James) and Heather’s British cousin, Nigel (Rik Young), tag along, expecting a simple road trip....
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #60: Half...
I chose this movie simply because it looked really dumb.
Synopsis from Netflix: A criminal mastermind (Morris Chestnut) plans to infiltrate a high-tech super-prison to persuade a man on death row to tell him where he hid $200 million in gold from a heist the FBI was never able to solve. What he doesn’t know is that the feds have an agent (Steven Seagal) planted undercover to try to...
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An honest typography question
Why does there seem to be so much visceral hatred for Comic Sans? I mean, I know it’s not an appropriate font for business or professional usage but is there something specific about it that makes graphic designers so adamantly opposed to its mere existence?
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #59:...
I don’t even remember which list of “worst movies ever” I found this one, but it’s supposed to be really bad according to somebody on the internet somewhere.
Synopsis from Netflix: Young Scott Doherty (Adam Garcia) gets suspicious when his mother (Jacqueline Bisset) plans to wed Oliver Vance (Stuart Wilson) soon after her husband’s untimely death. Scott...
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #58:...
B-movie madness from 1952!
Synopsis from Netflix: A space shuttle expedition led by Cmdr. Laird Granger (Sonny Tufts) and co-pilot Kip Reissner (Victor Jory) lands on the dark side of the moon after being hit by an asteroid. Helen Salinger (Marie Windsor), the sole female, guides the others to a cave with a livable atmosphere, having been steered there telepathically by cat-women who’re...
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Just to clarify...
After the Netflix Self-Torture Experiment ends on Sunday, I am taking some time off before I start watching your sad movie suggestions. Believe me, I’ve earned the motherfucking right to watch some films that are happy and enjoyable for a while.
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Movies I've added to my Netflix queue to see if...
My Dog Skip
Brian’s Song
Old Yeller
Hoosiers
The final two are movies that I have technically seen before, but not since I was a kid.
Sorry, snackajawea, but Rudy will never make me cry because I was born and raised a Michigan fan. Fuck Notre Dame.
If I had to speculate, I’d say the best odds for making me cry would be on Brian’s Song. As a Wake Forest graduate, I already...
-1984 asked: Have you ever cried watching a movie?
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #57 -...
The original Night at the Museum wasn’t horrible but it wasn’t good, either—and sequels are almost always worse than their predecessors.
Synopsis from Netflix: Ben Stiller returns as hapless museum night watchman Larry Daley in this sequel to the hit comedy. Though he’s now working at the Smithsonian Institution, Daley continues to deal with exhibits that come to life while...
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #56: Ed
Yep, another movie about animals playing sports.
Synopsis from Netflix: Ed the chimpanzee is more than just a mascot for the Santa Rosa Rockets — he’s actually talented enough to play third base. But when the team starts winning and Ed becomes a star, he’s sold by the team’s greedy owners. Ed’s fans and teammates are dismayed, but most devastated of all is...
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #55:...
I doubt I have to explain why this movie is on the list.
Synopsis from Netflix: Two sexy contract killers try to stay one step ahead of their vengeful enemies and lusty admirers in Lazar Saric’s action-packed comedy. Ginger (Alexis Arquette) and Coco (Omar Alexis) have a secret: They work as hired killers for one-eyed madman Uncle A. (Don Edmunds). The thrills never stop as this...
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #54: Good...
I’ve got a terrible feeling about this movie, in that I feel like it will be terrible.
Synopsis from Netflix: Every time unlucky-in-love Chuck (Dane Cook) breaks up with a girlfriend, that girl ends up engaged to her next boyfriend. So soon enough, women are knocking on Chuck’s door … hoping that after enduring a few dates with him, they’ll meet Mr. Right. The gamble works...
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Aphids just crawled out of my salad
lyndsaysgarden:
You know, the beautiful salad I made with the $5.99 local, organic, pre-washed salad mix from my neighborhood hippie grocery store. Lots and lots of tiny green aphids. Chloe Sanchez told me to eat them. Tried. Couldn’t.
They keep showing up on my desk.
There was aphids on the lettuce and I ate every one, And after I was done the salsa melted off my tongue.
C’mon...
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #53 - The...
I saw the first Twilight movie and was really confused by it. Let’s see if the second film is any better…
Synopsis from Netflix: In this sequel to Twilight directed by Chris Weitz (American Pie), Forks, Wash., resident Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is reeling from the departure of her vampire love, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), and finds comfort in her friendship with Jacob...
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #52 -...
This was a suggestion from @tehawesome. At first I had the original Omega Code in my queue but all of a sudden Netflix stopped carrying it, so I had to go with the sequel.
Synopsis from Netflix: Michael York is the prince of darkness in this apocalyptic sequel to the 1999 surprise hit produced by Matthew Crouch (son of televangelist Paul Crouch). After trying to kill his baby brother David,...
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Bad news, good news, and possibly even better news
Bad news first: I will not be able to attend CHSH after all. This can partially be blamed on the city of Richmond for giving me a summons for April jury duty and not yet telling me the day(s) I’ll have to serve, making it impossible for me to book a flight. In all fairness, though, it would have been pretty financially difficult for me to make the trip anyway. I’m very bummed that I...
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Push The Hand - The Toadies
When I feel bummed...
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“Wake Forest is not a bad basketball team, but they’re getting drubbed.”
– Jay Bilas
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Comeuppance will be swift
My apologies to any Kansas fans who follow my blog. To atone for my enjoyment of your team’s loss, I promise to post a sad picture of myself following Wake Forest’s inevitable destruction at the hands of Kentucky later tonight.
(If we somehow pull off another upset, though, you’ll probably want to unfollow me because I’ll be going fucking bananas.)
Time for me to start...
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Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #51: My...
I kinda forgot about my movie marathon with all the basketball going on…
Synopsis from Netflix: Three childhood buddies (Eddie Griffin, Anthony Anderson and Michael Imperioli) find themselves at a crossroads. With their girlfriends (Bai Ling, Paula Jai Parker and Joanna Bacalso) all pregnant at the same time, life as they know it is about to change forever. Are the good times over? Or...
Jeff Kelley hates poor people
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