The Vertigo Monologues

Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #5: Freddy Got Fingered

I got two days off from the self-torture experiment because of the big Twitter party, but now it’s time to get back on track. I actually had to triple-check the recaps of the two previous experiments to make sure I hadn’t already watched this movie because it seems like it should have been in there somewhere. Alas, it wasn’t, so here we are…

Synopsis from Netflix: After his ideas are rejected as idiotic, aspiring animator Gord Brody (Tom Green) moves into his parents’ basement. While planning his comeback, Gord woos a kinky paraplegic rocket scientist (Marisa Coughlan) and devises shocking strategies for driving his dad (Rip Torn) nuts. Green makes his directing debut with this anarchic gross-out extravaganza, which also stars Eddie Kaye Thomas as Gord’s titular unlucky brother.

My thoughts: Good. Fucking. God. I think karma is punishing me for skipping the weekend because this was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. It was so bad, in fact, that I don’t even want to justify its existence with an attempt at explaining the storyline. All I’m going to say is that you should avoid this movie at all costs unless you happen to enjoy seeing gaping flesh wounds, newborns being swung around by their umbilical cords, child molestation references, and elephant bukkake. [One out of five stars.]