Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #33: Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus
This a self-selected movie chosen simply because of the title.
Synopsis from Netflix: After a series of mysterious disasters occurs in the Pacific, from the disappearance of a plane to the destruction of an oil rig, a group of scientists discovers that a secret military mission has unearthed a prehistoric shark and a giant octopus. When the government learns of the existence of the menacing beasts, the team of scientists is tasked with formulating a plan to destroy the phenomenal creatures. Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson star.
My thoughts: If you’re anything like me, you’ve recently been wondering “whatever happened to Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas?” Well, I present you with your answer: Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus. Personally, I think the title could have used some expletives to add some gravity to the epic confrontation. Motherfucking Mega Shark Versus Giant Goddamn Octopus sounds pretty good.
Anyway, as you might expect, the majority of this movie was pretty stupid. I don’t really give a shit about Debbie Gibson’s love affair with the Japanese scientist or the influence of her former professor to inspire her to do something great; I just want to see a giant fucking shark fight a giant fucking octopus.
To be totally honest, when the showdown finally occurred it was a bit of a letdown. Prior to that, however, were some pretty funny moments. My favorite was when, completely out of nowhere, the mega shark jumped out of the ocean and took down a commercial airplane. The giant octopus also had a couple of bad ass moments when it engulfed an entire offshore drilling station and swatted a fighter jet out of the sky. THAT’S what I wanted to see!
Unexpected pleasure from the film: hearing Debbie Gibson swear. It was pretty hilarious, and it happened twice. If you’ve got Netflix Instant Watch, you might want to check this movie out just for that. [Two out of five stars.]
