Netflix Self-Torture Experiment Trilogy #66: Buttcrack
I never thought I would type this sentence: I am about to spend the next hour and seven minutes watching Buttcrack.
Synopsis from Netflix: In this horror-comedy, couch potato Portly Wade lives for TV and video games and has a big butt to show for his effort (or lack thereof). His roommate Brian’s girlfriend is disgusted by Wade’s appearance and refuses to move in, motivating Brian to kill Wade. But Brian’s days are numbered when Wade’s vindictive sister uses some voodoo and turns Wade into an evil zombie bent on revenge.
My thoughts: Well, this film was certainly titled appropriately. Between actual shots of Wade’s buttcrack (which were numerous) and uses of the word buttcrack (which were even more numerous), I don’t think I ever want to think about buttcrack again for the rest of my life.
I’m not going to analyze this movie because it would insult both your intelligence and mine, but I will try to put some sort of positive spin on my 67 minutes of suffering. If you’re ever in a situation where this is the only piece of entertainment you have available, you could make a really good drinking game out of watching it. One team could drink for pictures of buttcrack and the other team could drink for mentions of buttcrack. Both teams are guaranteed to get hammered. Of course, if you had alcohol available, I’d recommend just skipping the movie and getting drunk doing something more fun. [One out of five stars.]
